Moustach and its Scientific utility

A moustache, also known as a "mustach" or just plainly the " 'stache" is the gathering of gentlemanly hairs above the upper lip of most men (and a few women.)

The moustache is very different from other body hair on a human, in the following ways:

- It should never be cut or the social status gets cut

- Moustache is the origin of the term "loss of face". Meaning one loses his face upon cutting the moustache.

- The moustache is the source of all gentlemanly behaviors because of it's deep connection to root of the skin where pure awesomeness and chivalry reside. It is a rich source of protein, Vitamin B12 and other important nutrients.



     Furthermore, there are various important and positive uses of the moustache which has been found true since man began his journey of life. They are a source of navigation and movement, being able to perceive the minute changes in air pressure and direction, they were used widely in the era of the Jungle man who navigated entire jungles, oceans and grasslands based on this wonderful navigation tool.

     The moustache stores all human wisdom within its compact structure. Hence people higher up will always, ALWAYS tend to have a bigger, longer and mightier moustache. If you need any example, just ask Ron Swanson. He is the epitome of the classic, timeless bro-ness that is cultivated by cultivating a nice moustache. Steps to grow a moustache like Ron Swanson.

     Ever wonder why the men with moustache have less health issues? Here is your answer:

Moustache can decrease Skin Cancer


So do beards


If that is not enough, there are reports that say that a moustache has an in-built GPS and GLONASS navigation system. It comes as no surprise to us because we never need to ask for directions.


Just like Cat's Whiskers, the 'stache also indicates a man's mood very much directly. If the moustache starts to go up and down in a higher frequency, just walk away. An example.

On the other hand, a friendly moustache will always feel benevolent to you, something like this.

Yes, moustaches don't change, the faces of their owners do.


If you encounter a man twirling his moustache like this, action is about to happen!
Of course, there are different twirls that change according to the mood.

The moustache is also an indicator used by people everywhere to know the social level of the person.
For example, a moustache like this means the person is still at a lower rung of the society. He won't be taken seriously till he develops a moustache like this. You have to think twice before you even make eye contact with the person, if his moustache looks like this. No wonder in the military, moustaches are complusory in many regiments. Like this or this. Needless to say, men on both sides of combat respect each other because of the moustache.

With that we would like to conclude our first post on the Moustache and it's scientific foundation.

So our lesson shall continue. Stay Strong and keep that 'stache long!





DISCLAIMER: Apart from the scientific studies cited on 'moustahce,  radiation  and health benefits', other news are purely fiction. This is a blog of fiction and fictious posts. No harm intended. No copyright infringement intended as well. Please let us know and we shall take it down. Let the humor exist. Thank you.